"Homecoming" by Garon E. Whited

Homecoming

Years ago, I loved you, but I had to go.

There was a war, after all; I had to defend my country

And you.

I promised that I would come back.

I know I didn’t.

Instead, I died on that beach, bleeding into the sand

And whispered my apology to you

To the sand.

The war before that, I did come back,

Or mostly.

I wish I had had two arms to hold you, not one,

And that I could have run

On a kinder beach

Hand in hand with you.

Why did you stay with such a wreck?

I’ll never know what you saw in me.

Before that, I recall the ships.

Tall ships, full-rigged, sails bellying in the breeze;

I loved them.

Almost as much as I loved you.

There were ports to visit,

Spices to trade, gold to be made

For you and for the one inside you,

Swelling your smooth belly.

I was never home for long.

I’m sorry.

But I always came back!

When the ship went down, I did not.

I washed ashore and crossed a quarter of the world

To you.

Do you recall the days before?

When I strapped on steel,

Mounted my horse,

And jousted for your favor?

You were a vision to me, even then.

Daughter of a Count favoring an ignoble-born peasant,

Knighted on the field.

How your father raged!

But I proved my worth,

Justified your faith,

Though it cost me blood and pain.

I fell on the field of valor

With many wounds, all crimson.

You were there to hold me and heal me.

Thank you.

Long ago, when the Eagle flew over the hills

Of your native soil,

Your emerald isle,

Almost as green as your eyes,

I loved you.

The Emperor had put me on your land,

Claimed it as his own,

And had me there to see it stayed so

Armored in polished bronze and steel.

But you reminded me of who we are.

We sent him tribute

Just to shut him up

While I forgot latin and learned your tongue.

We built our house,

Tended our flocks and fields,

Raised up our sons and daughters.

I think that may have been the happiest time of all.

Before then, I had been happy, too.

With flint-tipped spear and fire

I hunted.

You gathered nuts, roots, berries. . .

I drove animals into pits and skinned them.

Fur and leather for my lady,

For our little ones.

Meat, roasted over the latest miracle:

Fire.

I drew scenes from the hunt for your amusement,

To teach our son.

You drew me to you to make another,

Wanting to grow big with child again.

Then I went forth to hunt.

Even before that . . .

When we needed no furs, for we had our own.

You groomed me, there in the forest,

Beneath the green cathedral dome.

I let you, and so it was.

Others thought it odd to sleep so,

Limbs tangled together, faces so close,

But we knew, somehow, how right it would be.

We were always a little ahead of our time.

Even then, we had memories of times before.

I recall the snuffling in the grass,

Tasting the soft stems,

Content to chew, and think, and watch.

And you were there, lowing next to me,

Rubbing against my mottled hide.

Or even the earlier days,

Of coming out of the water,

Of blinking at the bright thing in the sky.

“Look,” you said.  “Is it beautiful?”

“Yes,” I replied.  “Like you.”

I climbed up higher to try and reach it,

But it was too far, or I too weak.

You comforted me in the cool, green water,

Told me that you were content to see it.

But I kept trying, every so often.

I wanted to give it to you.

And days long before that, in the deeps.

We swam together, you and I.

When the ocean of Pangea was the world,

When the canyons of stone were new.

We, finned and flippered, swam together,

Laughing at the world, or with it,

Dancing in underwater delight.

All the world was ours to see,

But worthless in itself;

Joy came from each other.

The world could vanish and we wouldn’t mind.

I remember all these things.

Do you?

I had to leave you, sometimes,

Promising that I would return,

Assuring you that I would not forget,

Not abandon you,

Never leave you to be alone

Or with another.

To journey has never been without pain

And to be parted, however briefly, never easy.

I have sometimes been delayed,

Slowed on my return,

Hindered in reaching you again.

I am so sorry that I took so long.

Here I am at last.